The Things People Say

Remember when you just started dating someone new? It was fresh and exciting. A new possibility that could possibly lead to something that most women crave… commitment! Your so in love that you feel lighter than air, and nothing or no one could tell you otherwise. And then some ridiculous relative or worse… a friend, burst’s your perfect little bubble of bliss and would say (without even thinking) “so, when are you getting engaged?” And then once you are engaged, it evolves into “when are you getting married?” And then finally, “when are you gonna start a family? God I hate pressure! Like we all need more pressure in our lives!

Well, I’ve been feeling the pressure a lot lately and unfortunately I snapped at a very nice and sweet woman over this past weekend. I was sitting around talking with a group of women, and I was asked, point blank, when I was going to have more children? I wasn’t shocked or stunned by her question, but I nonchalantly said that “my husband and I were done and that one was enough for us”. She then persists with “But your son is SO BEAUTIFUL and imagine what a little girl would look like with your genes….” And on and on she went. I couldn’t get a word in edge wise, but I could also feel the tears start to burn in my eyes. So without even stopping to think,  I bursted out with “because my son was just diagnosed with Autism, and I can’t bring myself to do it again, OK!?!” And with that, I got up and walked away.

Yeah, it was harsh… I know, but I highly doubt that woman even noticed that I was visibly upset.

A dear, dear friend of mine told me not too long ago, that when I started to tell people about Willy diagnosis, I would find out who my true friends are. I was a little apprehensive but since it wasn’t a secret, I went ahead and sent email after email. Well, sure enough I saw a few people’s true colors, but mostly I received several texts, calls, and emails from people who were saying that they were here for me/us. The overwhelming sense of support that I received from friends and family was astounding. I feel like people are really starting to get it and accommodate us as well.

So, the moral of this story is, if you know someone who’s child was just diagnosed, please be there for them, don’t patronize them, and let them vent. Trust me… their gonna need it.

Here are some statistics/facts that I’d like to share with you:

1 in 88 children will be diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum this year.

1 in 3 will have ADHD as well.

There is no known link between vaccines and Autism.

Boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with Autism than girls.

More children will be diagnosed with Autism this year, than with AIDS, diabetes, and cancer combined.


6 thoughts on “The Things People Say

  1. I am so unbelievably proud of you. This blog is AMAZING and when you give the okay, I’m going to share it with the world. You have a gift and should be proud. You are inspiring to me!!! Love you!!! xoxoxo

  2. Jill and family – I can very much relate to this in the sense of dealing with infertility and having people push the “child-bearing pressure.” It is so insensitive. I am rooting for you in mind and spirit. Thinking of you with love — Jess

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