What I want and what he needs are two very different things.


ImageI was thinking back to my meeting with my son’s teacher a while ago, and I realized something very interesting about Willy’s “to-be” kindergarten situation. I realized that “what I want for him and what he needs, are two very different things.”

When my son entered preschool, almost two years ago, I was certain, but not blind to his situation at hand. What I was hoping for, was for my son to adopt some skills that would get him ready for kindergarten so he would be able to be more independent. But what I realized was that he’ll most likely need an Aide/shared Aide to keep him on track. 

That is not what I wanted or imagined for him, but he needs it. I need to adjust my thinking on this one, and move on.

I really wanted to see my son go to a General Ed. classroom or at least an all inclusive classroom, but what he needs is a K-1 class where there will be more teachers and more help in order for him to keep all of the wonderful skills and knowledge that he has acquired thus far.

Like I said. It’s not what I wanted or imagined for him, but He needs it. I just need to roll with it.

To be honest, I never wore rose colored glasses with my boy, because living in denial just makes things worse. It took a long time for me to be able to say the words “Developmental Delay” or “ADHD,” because, having to explain to certain people why my son acts the way he does at times, was just crushing to me. I just wanted to be able to attend a class or a trip to the museum with my son with out me having to hover (for safety), and just let him be, and let him explore on his own. But what he needs is for me to stay close (but not too close), and for me to recognize when things are getting to be too much for him, and take him out of the situation. 

When I can do those two things for him, success follows us. 

My husband and I have Willy’s IEP meeting at the end of this month, and in all of my infinite wisdom, I want his IEP to be workable. Do-able. Use-able. Follow-able. Enjoy-able. And, successful-able. I need to again, adjust my thinking, and remind myself that what he needs comes first, and what I want well… I’ll have to adjust to that as well.

I never said that I was perfect and knew everything about everything, but I do know this. I know that my son is incredible. He has made, and continues to make incredible progress, and for that… I should be grateful. And I am. 

I always will be. 

TGIF Ya’ll

4 thoughts on “What I want and what he needs are two very different things.

  1. It’s so hard to let go of what we thought life with our kiddos was going to be. Once you have done that, and accepted it, it gets pretty amazing to sit back and watch them shine. Wishing you well.

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