A dear friend read this poem at our wedding eight years ago. She read it with such vivacity and feeling, that she made me tear up. Actually, she made the entire room tear up because the words that she read so elegantly, shook me to my core in one of the best possible ways. To me this poem has even more meaning now than it did eight years ago, and it’s funny how nothing and everything has changed since then.
This was our first dance together (Jason and I) when we were in college, circa 1999. We were both in the show Cabaret, and he was the Emcee and I was the “dancing gorilla” amongst other chorus parts.
I put bright blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick on the mask of the gorilla, to make it look even funnier than it already was. If you had told me way back then, that I would marry that man, have a gorgeous child with him, and still continue to have a life full of hilarious moments, good cries, and honest to goodness laughter together, I probably would’ve laughed you right out of the room.
We’ve always said that we balance each other out… even in our toughest moments together. 2014 has definitely had its ups and downs for us, but I’ll be glad to see it go, and welcome 2015 in with open arms.
I still have my moments where I find it hard to believe that my son was hospitalized this past year, I wrote and published my first book, Willy’s first experience with kindergarten couldn’t have gone worse, we are officially homeowners, I lost both of my grandfathers to poor health, my best friend had a baby, and so much more. See? Ups and downs.
But one thing has stayed true. My husband. The two of us have declared (to each other) that we have gone through more than most couples do, in terms of caring for and helping our child to succeed in a world that doesn’t really bend for him as much as he would like. The decisions that we’ve had to make over the past few months have been hard, because most parents of typical children would never have to think about the things that we’ve dealt with, and its become our new normal.
We actually lose sleep over this.
But in hindsight, I wouldn’t change a thing. My son is who he is, and he’s going to continue to be his delicious self, until the day he takes his last breath. So my dears (Jason and Willy), “I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart). I am never without it (anywhere I go, you go my dear).” And you know what? I’ll let you in on a little secret my friends.
I’m just like you.
I’ve experienced crisis, triumph, fear, love, acceptance, jealousy, aggravation, compensation, kindness, and so much more. I deal with it the same way you do. I talk to the ones that I love. The ones that get it. I never internalize it because if I do… well, that’s just a recipe for disaster.
Share this poem with someone that you love. Let them know that you carry them in your heart, and that no matter where you go… they go as well. ❤️