Yes, it does tend to happen every now and then. I admit it.
I screwed up!
Jason – 1 Jill – 1,000
Here’s what happened. Willy is really into the movie “Finding Nemo” lately, and after threatening him with not going to the toy store if he didn’t behave over the weekend, I had an idea!
Willy LOVES little figurines. Especially if he’s into a movie or TV show that has figurines to go along with it. While we were in the car in route to the toy store, I asked Willy what toy he wanted to buy. He immediately said “Nemo.” I remember the Disney section of the toy store the last time I was there while holiday shopping, and I remember they sold little “Finding Nemo” figurines, so I knew we were set.
When we arrived, Willy knew exactly where he wanted to go in the toy store, and as luck would have it, he immediately spotted two “Finding Nemo” figurines; Nemo and Dory. We headed right to the cashier, paid, and walked to the car. I swear it was the fastest trip to the toy store in history! 😀
Willy was so excited to get home, watch the movie “Finding Nemo and play with his new toys.
He just looked so happy; watching the movie and playing with his little figurines, that it gave me an idea. I went online to see if I could find any more “Finding Nemo” toys, and I came across this.
A set of nine figurines! I figured that if I could use these new toys as a incentive to get Willy to BEHAVE, i.e: using good listening ears, keeping a calm body, and using the potty without a fight, he could earn one figurine a day!! It was a genius plan… or so I thought.
Last night when I got home from work, there was an Amazon box waiting for me. I was so excited to open it and show Willy its contents. Jason tried to object, but did I listen? Of course not. I had my own agenda. Willy was very interested in the box that I was opening, and when I showed him what was inside, he started jumping up-and-down. I tried to explain to him that if he was a good boy, etc. he could have one figurine a day. Well what do you know! He wanted all nine of them at once!!! I tried numerous times to explain to him why he couldn’t have any of the toys at that exact moment, but he could get one tomorrow night if he had a good day at school.
He just didn’t seem to understand.
He was crying for his new toys, and seemed even sadder when I kept saying no. To him, it was like I was dangling a steak in front of him, and refused to let him have it. So I gave in. I let him have all nine figurines, because he just didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to do. I mean, my intentions were good, and my plan was well thought out (or at least I thought it was), that it seemed almost seamless to me.
“Why didn’t he seem to understand what I was trying to do here?” I said to Jason. And Jason looked right at me and said, “you shouldn’t have shown him the toys. You should’ve just given him one a day for good behavior, or one every once in a while for good behavior. He shouldn’t have known that they were nine toys waiting for him.” He was right! He was sooooo right.
I sat there and stared at him with my mouth wide open. He was so right. and I was so wrong. Jason – 1 Jill – 1,000. He snorted a snide laugh, and went back to what he was doing. Then he said from the other room, “as a therapist, you should know this.” Again, he was right. I did know that. Jason – 2 Jill- 1,000.
It’s a shitty feeling knowing that you’ve screwed up, especially when you’re in the “behavior department” professionally. Well, I immediately gave credit where credit was due. I admitted wholeheartedly that I had screwed up, and that it happens. I’m not perfect, and I don’t ever claim to be perfect, and yes, I do screw up every now and then. At least I can admit it, right?
So now I have to think of a new tactic. Sticker charts don’t really work with him, so it has to be something more tangible. I’ll figure it out. I’m not worried. But at least I got to look at this sweet and happy face this morning while we waited for the school bus. He was so excited to show his bus driver his new toys, and that he had to bring them outside with him while waiting for the bus.