Ugh! This winter is killing me (figuratively speaking), but I’m thinking that a trip to a tanning salon just might qualify as a day out in the sun somewhere tropical. Yeah? Sigh… who am I kidding here.
So yesterday as I was about to leave for work, I was wiping down the kitchen table, and I stepped in something wet. I wondered if Willy had been playing with the icemaker again in the refrigerator, and had accidentally dropped in ice cube on the floor. And then I stepped in another wet spot. And then another.
GREEEEAAAAT! We have a leak.
This winter has been brutal, and the fact that I actually thought that we would be spared (for whatever delusional reason), was only a pipe dream.
Anywho, I called around this morning looking for hardware stores that sold icemelt that was safe for rooftops, and as luck would have it, the first number I called told me to come in right away because it would gone before I knew it. So I told Willy to quickly get his shoes on, because we are going on a quick errand. Yeah… quick errands don’t exist in our household. In fact, anything that is “rushed” or “quick” doesn’t exist in our household, because Autism doesn’t work that way… and neither does an anxiety disorder or ADHD. Anything that is rushed or quick is usually a recipe for disaster.
And our quick little errand was no exception.
When we walked into the store, Willy wanted to push the cart. So I let him. We found the kind of icemelt that we were looking for, and my boy pulled the cart over and started carefully wandering around the store taking a peek at each aisle. While I was trying to pay, I kept one eye on Willy and the other eye on what I was doing. Then I couldn’t see him. The store was practically empty so I knew that he was safe, but still… I couldn’t see him. The man at the register happened to be the owner, so as I was signing my signature, the owner went to go look for my boy. When I was through I went to go look for them, and there was my boy, lying on the floor in the way back of the store. The owner had his hand extended to help my boy up, but Willy wouldn’t budge. He saw me coming and he looked sad. I wasn’t angry or upset with him; just frustrated that he had bolted to the other end of the store. I told him that it’s not always safe to leave my side, but with Willy it just went in one ear and out the other.
I thanked the owner for all of his help and then mumbled, “Autism never sleeps” loud enough that only he could hear me. And at that moment I was completely DISGUSTED with myself for actually saying that out loud, and clearly my frustration was showing, because he gave me a pat on the back. The man apologized (for my situation) and then offered to help me to my car with the two enormous bags of ice melt. I was grateful for his help, and once I got Willy situated in his car seat, I thanked the owner one last time, and we drove home.
I had a “moment” if you will. They don’t happen often, but when they do… I sometimes feel lost because I don’t always know what to do. Especially when it comes to me hiding my emotions, because it’s usually written all over my face.
When it all boils down to it, I sometimes have to remind myself to keep my cool and just roll with the punches. Even when I’m so frustrated that I could just scream! I also wish that it was okay for adults to have temper tantrums in public, but since that’s just not right, I’ll just continue to smile my little pathetic smile when I’m about to loose it, and continue on my merry way. I usually tend to “lose it” when I’m by myself or in my car when no one’s going to see me/judge me. You know what I mean, right?
For a lot of you, school vacation is just about over for your kids. And for the rest of you school vacation is in another month or two. I hope everyone is enjoying their time with their families, and keeping busy. And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably counting down the hours until the school bus comes on Monday, just so you can enjoy 10 minutes of quiet without being disturbed. Lol. Come on admit it. You know your mind has wandered there at least once this past week. I’m
I absolutely adore my little boy more than words can say, but I also enjoy some quiet time for myself as well. Have a great weekend everyone and I’ll see you on Monday.