Positive (+) Vs. Negative (-)


Yesterday, this showed up on my Facebook feed. 



I was completely blindsided by this comment. It was from someone that I have grown up with, and he and his wife are rooting for me and my family. He must be psychic because he must’ve known that I really needed to hear something like that, at that exact moment. Positive (+)

The comment made me smile and it also made me tear up a little. I’ve been tearing up a lot lately. And taking a compliment has been a hard thing for me to do. Why? Because to me, it’s much much more than a complement. It’s meant with love and compassion. You see, this friend has watched me grow up. This friend attended my bat mitzvah, my wedding, and so many more family events that I’ve lost count.  This friend is more like family to me and I will always be grateful for him and his wife. Positive (+)

When I had my girls night out last Saturday evening, my friends and I found ourselves talking about our kids and our husbands much more than we expected. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with talking about kids and husbands, but I found myself talking about the negative things that are going on in my life, a lot more than the positive. And when you’re out for a girls night out, bringing the group down should never be an option. Negative (-)

Seriously. 

Things in my household are really starting to look up, and I need to remind myself to focus more on that and let the positive do it’s job. The positive needs to take over and kick the negative in the ass. So here’s my question to all of you. Why is it so easy to focus on the negative and forget about the positive? (-/+)

It’s easy. The negative packs more of a “punch” then the positive it does. The negative has longer lasting effects than the positive, so when something good happens, it’s easier to wait for the other shoe to drop so you don’t feel let down. Or at least that’s the way I view it. The negative has long-lasting effects, and the positive which has long-lasting effects as well, sometimes seems to take a backseat to the negative (-). For example: Willy did not have the greatest day at school yesterday, but he did have a good home session with this therapist. Now, which one resonates more with you? The negative (Willy having a bad day at school) or the positive (Willy doing well at his home session). 

Sadly for me, the negative (-) wins in this scenario. 

Why? Because it kills me that sometimes he just can’t behave himself! Willy has had plenty of good days at school, but yesterday was just a bad one, and it resonated more with me then Willy having a good home session. 

He was so happy to see me when I got home last night from work, and we did our usual routine of giggles and tickles, but when I asked him about his day, he completely ignored my question and walked away. So I asked him again, “how was your day?” And again, he ignored me. Right then and there I should have known that something was up, so I looked at the sheet that comes home with him in his folder every day. 

Yep! There it was in black-and-white (sigh). Negative (-)

So when I woke him up to get ready for school this morning, we snuggled for a few minutes, and I reminded him to uses words, his best listening ears, and to ask for help when he needed it. I promised him that his teachers would be proud of him and that asking for help is a good thing to do. He looked right at me and said “ok mommy” and right then and there I squeeze him tight, because I was so proud of him. Positive (+)

So maybe when it comes to taking a complement, I can just say “thank you” without feeling sheepish and undeserving. Because you know what? I deserve it too! Positive (++++++++) have a great day everybody. 



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