Good (yawn) morning? How’d ya sleep? I mean, how’d your kids sleep? I know and understand the history of daylight savings time; both falling back and springing forward, but as a parent… Monday mornings are rough, and this is my personal feeling towards it.
As I sit here, watching my son color at the kitchen table before getting on the school bus, I again am in awe of him and the progress that he’s made so far. It really is mind blowing. 😀
Yesterday morning, a dear friend and I messaged each other back-and-forth because, well, she’s amazing. And also because she responded to a snarky comment that I made on Facebook. My friend has “been there and done that” with her own kids, but in a very different kind of way. She told me that when her kids were younger she worried quite a bit about them. She reassured me that even though it’s tough when they’re little, it does get easier as they get older. I want to believe her. I really do. But trying to imagine my son “older?” I can’t. I just can’t, and I don’t want too.
I always think about the progress that Willy has made over the past 5 1/2 years of his life. Every day something wonderful happens. And maybe every other day… he does something that makes me worry. I remember when Willy was really young, random people would tell me stories about their kids and how they didn’t talk until they were four years old, or how they only ate ketchup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or how they didn’t care to socialize with other kids until they were tweens, because there was nobody that they were felt like socializing with. And as usual, I smiled my little fake smile, and I listen to them talk, because deep down it made them feel better. And when they were through, they always had a look of relief on their faces, because their kids turned out okay.
And then one day I finally snapped at some random woman on the playground. I said “I’m sorry, but is that supposed to make me feel better?” Yep. I said that. And this happened right after Willy was diagnosed a few years ago.
You see, as children move forward in life, they have goals (milestones) that they need to reach by certain ages. For example, kids need to be making at least 1 to 2 word attempts buy the age of one (mumma, da da, kitty, etc.) And as babies, they explore the world by putting everything in their mouth’s. And it’s okay if kids go on strike and want nothing but ketsup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but we all know that it’s a phase and that it will be short-lived for a little while. But in this day and age, not socializing because the child “doesn’t want to,” isn’t an option anymore. It’s actually a red flag. If a teacher sees a student on the playground sitting and reading a book on a bench, rather than playing with other kids, they get worried. They worry that there is a deep rooted problems that they feel the need to fix on the spot, and kids are supposed to respond to it toot sweet. And when the child refuses, they’re referred to as a “social/emotional” problem child, that only a counselor or therapist can help with. The child is considered “in need” and will most likely be referred to a social group so the child can learn to be more social.
Well you know what? I get it but I don’t. I understand the reason why teachers want to help out and intervene where they can, but as a former student that hated recess as a child, and just wanted to be left alone for 30 minutes twice a day, I would’ve been considered antisocial and needing more social skills in order to get by elementary/middle school.
So you see, I see wonderful things happening with my son daily, but also, what if he just wants to be left alone to be who he is meant to be? Is that such a terrible thing? I was once told by a complete stranger that if kids haven’t learned the correct social skills by the end of middle school, then there’s no hope for them in high school. I thought that was the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard, because little did this woman know, that I will be struggling with this in the near future. I just hope that when my son is of high school age, he finds a group of friends that he can relate to. I hope he finds a crew that he can be himself with; crazy, silly, and funny. And they except him for who he is and who he’s meant to be.
My husband found some old high school pictures of mine yesterday, and I was reminded of how amazing my friends were. I just hope that Willy can have the same satisfaction when he grows up. I’m sure he will.
Happy Monday my friends. Now it’s time to WAKE UP and go on to have a wonderful day. I know I will. ☺️
Willy is busy coloring at 6:45 this morning (yawn).