Thinking outside the box

Forward-thinker: adjective planning or tending to plan for the future. 

Individual: noun a single human being that is distinguished from a group. 

Yesterday during my class, I listened to my professor talk about the way things SHOULD be, rather than how things CAN be when it comes to childbirth and child rearing. But as you know, I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut when it comes to certain things at times. But being an independent, individual, forward thinking woman, this just gives me more ammunition to write about how things can be, because sometimes you don’t have a choice in the matter. 

Here. Let me give you an example. 

Ladies who have given birth, this one’s for you. For those that haven’t, you’ll appreciate this. Okay, so my text book for my class was updated in 2012. That’s three years ago since the last copyright change. A lot can change in three years.  Am I correct in thinking that? 

Okay, so my professor was going over the chapter that we had read for homework, and this chapter covered everything from labor signs, to the babies first few days after birth. My professor started lecturing us on how drugs during labor (pain meds) are a bad thing, and going completely natural is the best way to go. Okay… I agree somewhat with what you’re saying, but then she started telling us that once the baby is born, it’s important to bond with them. 

Yep, I still agree with what you’re saying. 

She continued: that the “rooming in” act (the baby sleeping in the hospital room with you and not in the nursery) is the only way to go, and that breast-feeding should be your only option. 

As she rattled on, I raise my hand. 

I told her that “when my son was born, I had absolutely no problems bonding with my child. From the second he was born, he was put on my chest, and feeling his skin on my skin was the most incredible feeling in the world. BUT, the fact that he slept in the nursery both nights while we were all in the hospital, does not make me a bad mother! Nor should I be made to feel badly because of the decision that I made six years ago. I continued; Labor is and was exhausting, and after being awake for almost 24 hours, I wanted to to sleep. So, the nurse brought him to the nursery for the evening, where he was looked after, until 6 AM when he was brought to me the next day!”

I continued. 

Not that this was any of her business, but, “I tried to breast-feed. I wasn’t producing colostrum fast enough, so I was giving him formula in between. And shortly after that he was completely bottle-fed because my body stopped producing claustrum altogether.” 

Again, did I have any problems bonding with my baby? Nope! Was he healthy and at a healthy weight? Yep! And I didn’t feel like any less of a mother because I chose for my son to sleep in the nursery and because he was bottle-fed. 

I felt like telling her to shove her old school theories, because life is messy. Childbirth is messy. After childbirth is even messier! My husband and I were new at this, and we were taking all of the advice that we were given, but it didn’t mean that we had to use it. We had to learn on our own. We felt like rebels in a sense, because we were winging it a lot of days. We were forward thinkers! 

I know I gave my professor something to think about. I am also very well aware that there was a sigh of relief amongst my classmates yesterday. These young men and women that are my peers, need to know that there is more to life than textbook instructions. They need to know that things can go differently then what they were taught to expect. They need to know that it’s OK to choose your own path and to not feel badly about your choice. And just because my son slept in the nursery in the hospital and was bottle-fed, does not mean that he’s a changed child. It doesn’t mean he can’t count on me or that I won’t be there for him in his time of need. It means that sometimes I have to put myself or my own needs in front of his, and I did so in those circumstances. 

I still have a wonderful bond with my son and nothing could change that. Not for all the tea in China. 

So, the moral of this story is: it’s OK to be a freethinking individual. Think outside the box. Please! I beg you! I can guarantee you, that the decisions you make when it comes to parenthood, will be because your new at this. Not everything has to be textbook. You will make mistakes. We all do, but your child will still love you… because you love them.