When you become a parent, it means something different to just about everyone. When I became a mother to my beautiful boy, I know that life would be an adventure. I knew that it would be hard, fun, exciting, mysterious, joyous, heartbreaking, wonderful, and every other adjective that you’d like to insert here. I also knew that life wasn’t all about me anymore, and that I would eventually have to make decisions that were in the best interest of my child… no matter how hard they were.
… and some of them have been excruciating.
When you become a parent, your carefree lifestyle takes a minor detour for a little while. Your nail/spa days are replaced with play dates and endless loads of laundry. Your late nights out with your girlfriends or your partner, is replaced with an “early to bed early to rise” attitude, and you get used to putting everyone’s needs before your own, daily.
When you become a parent, you sometimes have to put important things on hold, because your little ones need you. Your partners needs sometimes gets put on hold as well. When the little voice inside your head is trying to tell you something, you should probably listen to it.
You should definitely listen to it.
When you become a parent, sometimes you might have to work more or less, depending on your situation, and “making ends meat” can be difficult for a lot of people. A long time ago, I used to have a job where I had breakfast and lunch everyday with my students. I was on my own for dinner most nights, so having pretty much nothing in my fridge was the norm; basically because I was never home, a bowl of cereal and milk suited me just fine. I was trying to “make ends meat.”
But most importantly, when you become a parent, you need a village. You can’t do this alone, especially in the very beginning. You’ll find your rhythm, I promise, and when you do, you’ll look at your… oh, I dunno, seven year old and think to yourself… “where on earth did the time go?” Where’s my baby? But honestly, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you would’ve told me four years ago that my son would be speaking in full but short sentences, accepting an autism diagnosis, deciding to medicate, making inferences, toilet trained, able to zip his own coat, finally has somewhat of a sense of self-safety, able to volley a conversation back and forth 4-5 times (on most days), brush his own teeth, and so much more, I probably would’ve cried in your face, all the while thinking, why are you being so mean to me to me?
When you become a parent, being prepared for the unexpected goes without saying. You can’t predict how things are gonna go, or control each and every moment. You simply have to go where life takes you and be comfortable with the decisions that you have to make. Just know that your not alone and your good times will be great and your tough times will be hard, but you are never alone. Willy at 2 years old and such a big boy!