I’ve been having some pretty vivid dreams lately. One dream in particular has been reoccurring for a few weeks now, and it still freaks me out just as much as it did the first time I dreamed it. I dreamed that my son and I are napping together in a hospital bed (we are in an actual hospital), and when I wake up from my nap… he’s gone.
I’ve probably had this dream five or six times already, and every time I wake up from it, I am drenched with sweat, breathing heavily like I’ve just run a marathon, and I don’t know where I am. It’s absolutely terrifying. And the truth of the matter is, is that a few weeks ago, we were in the hospital taking a nap together in his bed. He was of course there when I woke up, but the thought of losing him in anyway, shape, or form, scares the bajeasus out of me!
And last nights dream was no exception. I dreamt that a former coworker of mine set me up for failure, and suddenly I was transformed back to elementary school, where I was just a little kid sitting in the principals office, because I have clearly done something bad or wrong. When the principal asked me if I knew why I was sitting in his office, I just stared at him and cried. I had absolutely no idea why I was there.
In retrospect, I’ve never in my life been sent to the principals office, even as a professional, and no one has EVER set me up for disaster, but boy did that dream seem real. I was recently told that I was starting to suffer from a mild case of PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder), which would totally explain why I have not been able to sleep well lately, and why I dream so vividly.
So what can I do about it and how do I take control over it? Since I am a well known/documented control freak, of course that is my first “go-to.”
Therapy is a great start, but finding the right kind of therapist is essential! Finding someone who you can relate to, speak freely with, and be listened to (without judgement) are three crucial ingredients to finding the right kind of therapist for you. I personally like a therapist with an edge. An attitude. Someone who “gets me” without me having to explain my sense of humor, or why I say the things that I do. I prefer to talk to someone that’s quick witted and full of interesting facts, because I tend to go off topic sometimes, and this person reals me back in, and picks up where we left off.
A lot of people think that therapy is for sissy’s. They think that therapy is for people that can’t handle their own feelings, and need someone to cry to. I don’t necessarily think that that’s a bad thing, because talking out your problems and feelings, only makes you human. It gives you a sense of trust and security. And while at the same time you are paying them for their thoughts and advice, they’re usually spot on.
So while I deal with my vivid dreams, stress, and everything else that comes my way, I know that I am well looked after and taken care of, by the support and love of my family, friends, and yes… a therapist. Asking for a little extra help doesn’t necessarily make me weak, ignorant, or a sissy. It just makes me more aware, emotionally stronger, and more trustworthy then. ever before.
If you need help, ask for it. If you need advice, ask for it. If you need a mentor or someone to complain to, ask for it! You only get one life on this planet, so why not make it a good one.