Dreams and PTSD

I’ve been having some pretty vivid dreams lately. One dream in particular has been reoccurring for a few weeks now, and it still freaks me out just as much as it did the first time I dreamed it. I dreamed that my son and I are napping together in a hospital bed (we are in an actual hospital), and when I wake up from my nap… he’s gone.

I’ve probably had this dream five or six times already, and every time I wake up from it, I am drenched with sweat, breathing heavily like I’ve just run a marathon, and I don’t know where I am. It’s absolutely terrifying. And the truth of the matter is, is that a few weeks ago, we were in the hospital taking a nap together in his bed. He was of course there when I woke up, but the thought of losing him in anyway, shape, or form, scares the bajeasus out of me!

And last nights dream was no exception. I dreamt that a former coworker of mine set me up for failure, and suddenly I was transformed back to elementary school, where I was just a little kid sitting in the principals office, because I have clearly done something bad or wrong. When the principal asked me if I knew why I was sitting in his office, I just stared at him and cried. I had absolutely no idea why I was there.

In retrospect, I’ve never in my life been sent to the principals office, even as a professional, and no one has EVER set me up for disaster, but boy did that dream seem real. I was recently told that I was starting to suffer from a mild case of PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder), which would totally explain why I have not been able to sleep well lately, and why I dream so vividly.

So what can I do about it and how do I take control over it? Since I am a well known/documented control freak, of course that is my first “go-to.”

Therapy is a great start, but finding the right kind of therapist is essential! Finding someone who you can relate to, speak freely with, and be listened to (without judgement) are three crucial ingredients to finding the right kind of therapist for you. I personally like a therapist with an edge. An attitude. Someone who “gets me” without me having to explain my sense of humor, or why I say the things that I do. I prefer to talk to someone that’s quick witted and full of interesting facts, because I tend to go off topic sometimes, and this person reals me back in, and picks up where we left off.

A lot of people think that therapy is for sissy’s. They think that therapy is for people that can’t handle their own feelings, and need someone to cry to. I don’t necessarily think that that’s a bad thing, because talking out your problems and feelings, only makes you human. It gives you a sense of trust and security. And while at the same time you are paying them for their thoughts and advice, they’re usually spot on.

So while I deal with my vivid dreams, stress, and everything else that comes my way, I know that I am well looked after and taken care of, by the support and love of my family, friends, and yes… a therapist. Asking for a little extra help doesn’t necessarily make me weak, ignorant, or a sissy. It just makes me more aware, emotionally stronger, and more trustworthy then. ever before.

If you need help, ask for it. If you need advice, ask for it. If you need a mentor or someone to complain to, ask for it! You only get one life on this planet, so why not make it a good one.


Do you “Yogibo?”

On Saturday, Jason and I had some time together, so we went to the mall and did a few errands. I spotted the Yogibo store and asked Jay if he minded if I popped in for just a few minutes. He didn’t mind at all and looked intrigued with what the store had to offer.

When we walked in, we saw four or five children throwing themselves on beanbag chairs, an older gentleman just relaxing in one with his eyes closed, and a mother filling out a lengthy form to order something. In case you’re not familiar with Yogibo, it’s a store that prides itself on a “lifestyle of awesomeness.” Really. It does. It says so on the form. I’m looking at the form right now.

It’s a store that sells bean bag chairs, pillows, lap pads, blankets, and other things that meet all of your mood and sensory needs. It is by no means a sensory store; they just sell the most delightful, huggable, and insanely comfortable things that you could possibly imagine. If you’ve tried it, then you know what I mean.

“The contents of the cotton-lycra fabrics and frictionless beads are super durable, comfortable, and it literally molds to your body. ” Yogibo

I watch Jason walk around the store and choose a chair that he wanted to sit in, while I talked to one of the guys that worked in the store. The look on Jason’s face said it all. He closed his eyes, breathed deep, and almost instantaneously, shut out the world around him. The beanbag chair that he was sitting on, had molded to his body, and was giving him all of the sensory needs that he needed in that moment.

When he opened his eyes, I was sitting right next to him in a matching chair doing the exact same thing. I looked at him and said, “it feels amazing, doesn’t it?” I told him that I wanted to buy two of them for Willy’s playroom when we move into our new house. And even though they’re a little on the expensive side, I have this vision of my son sitting in one of these chairs and doing the exact same thing as we were. I could see him using the beanbag to help regulate his body when he’s feeling overload. I imagine that if he’s feeling half as good as we do at this moment, than why not? It’s just another way to relax and be comfortable. Right? Right!

When a gentleman in the store came over to me and asked if I needed any help, I asked them if they sold any weighted blankets? Why? Because, the way the fabric felt on my skin, and the ideal weight of a weighted blanket, it was a glorious recipe for self regulation, sensory awareness, and comfort. The man shattered my hopes and said “no, but you could contact customer service and make a recommendation.” I told him I would, I took an order form for a later time, and left feeling happy and ridiculously relaxed. A very good combo if you ask me.

So, here is the website for Yogibo customer service http://www.cs@yogibo.com. If you have a store near you, I highly recommend that you check it out. Yes the prices are a little expensive, but once you go Yogibo, you’ll never go back. 😜

See? I get giddy just thinking about it. Enjoy.


A look at ADHD

As I have been trying to wrap my own head around my son’s ADHD issues, I came across this documentary on youtube. It focuses on two families who are experiencing ADHD in different ways, and as always, the ending gave me hope and I fell in love with these two families, because I get it. I can sympathize and empathize with them, but mostly, we all just want what’s best for our kids.

As I watch my son relax on the couch with his ipad right now, and then abruptly get up, play with toys, jump around, make a ton of noise, and then sit back down again, I realize that he really doesn’t seem to care that he just can’t sit still! After all, he’s had a full day of preschool, care and play with our babysitter, and now down time with me.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Anyway, I urge you to take the time to watch this documentary. It’s well made and it’ll really bring ADHD to life for you.

Take care and have a great weekend.