SUCCESS! A story of triumph and celebration.

A few weeks ago, my son saw a commercial on TV for the movie Hotel Transylvania 2. He was so excited when he saw the commercial, that I asked him if he wanted to go to the movies to see it. 

He yelled out “YAAAAY!!!” and was jumping around the house like it was Christmas morning!

 I was so excited at the idea of taking my son to the movies, because he never seemed to show any interest in anything like that before. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for six years to be perfectly honest, and I just had to find the right time please to do this. 

Fast forward to this past Saturday evening. 

I told Willy that when we got home from his social group on Saturday, we’d have some dinner and then go to the movies together. “The movies!” He yelled. He was so excited that he was jumping around the house and hugging the dog, all the while telling Everest that he was going to the movies to see vampires, werewolves, a mummy, etc. It was seriously too cute for words!

This was starting to become a big deal for us, and I was just as giddy and excited as he was at the prospect of going to our first movie together. Like I said, I’ve been waiting six years for this moment. 

When we pulled into the movie theater parking lot, Willy was in awe by all the lights. He thought they were pretty and kept pointing out the blinking ones to me. He waited patiently next to me while I got our tickets, and was even more excited to find out that our seats were red! 

 His excitement was contagious! The big screen was such a trip for him. I told him that the movie we are going to see was in 3-D and he needed special glasses in order to see the screen clearly.  
 When the previews started, he was kept saying, “here we go!” But he didn’t understand why he had to sit and watch five of them before the actual movie started. When we’re at home we just skip right over them, and that’s what he kept asking for.  

He was starting to get aggravated, and that wasn’t a good sign. 

When the movie finally started, I told him to put on a special glasses. He actually wore them for several minutes. But after a little while, he took them off. I asked him again if wanted to wear his glasses, because watching a movie in blurry 3-D vision just didn’t seem as fun. It was no big deal really, but I just wanted him to have a good experience. He refused to wear them again. 

Ok. No biggie. 

As the movie got underway, I could hear him giggling and laughing at all the right parts. I was thinking to myself, “wow! This is actually happening! This is fantastic!” I couldn’t believe that he was actually sitting still and watching the movie! We snuggled together, and at one point, he asked for a juice box and a snack. I reached into my bag and gave him one. My mind was blown! That’s how proud of him I was. 

He was munching and watching! 

 I just stared at him in awe. He was so happy, and so was I! I was walking on air at that moment. 

40 minutes into the movie, I look over to ask him if he was all done with his snack, and he was sound asleep! 

WHAT?????????? 

A minute ago, he was laughing his head off, and now suddenly he’s asleep? (Sigh) 

My happy mom buzz was completely gone. He was missing one of his favorite parts in the commercial, so I tried to shake him awake, but he just turned over in his chair and started snoring. 

Seriously kid?

So I rubbed his back, and I asked him if he wanted to go home. He sleepily said “yes,” so I put his coat on him… and we left. 

He slept the entire ride home, but I was still proud of my boy. This was a big deal for us, because now I know that he can handle going to the movies. We can go see any movie that he wants now, and I know that he can handle it and behave himself. 

Yesterday morning I asked him to tell his dad what his favorite part was, and he did! Jason was so proud of him, and so was I. We can’t wait to take him to his next movie as a family, but for now, I’m just going to bask in that “successful mom glow” and know that my son has come such a long way since last year. Way to go kiddo! I am so proud of you! 

 
 

Cheap Thrill Friday: … It’ll be alright

* I met a lovely woman on the playground yesterday. She looked tired and sad. I watched her as she interacted with her little boy. She talked and talked… but her son didn’t listen. 

He was busy doing his own thing. 

He was tuning her out. 

She sighed a big sigh. I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted to tell her that everything was gonna be alright, because it will. 

* From a distance I saw a dad trying to get his little girl to finish her lunch at a restaurant.

 She kept signing “all done.” 

He looked frustrated because she didn’t eat much. 

I think he was worried about her being hungry later, but his little girl just kept signing “all done.” Then the crying started. 

My heart sank for him.

He was just trying to be a good dad. 

I wanted to tell him that so many dads would’ve just given up and gotten angry because kids can be finicky sometimes. 

I wanted to tell him that it’ll be alright. 

* And last night, I raised my voice to my son because he purposely eggs the dog on. The dog is too young to realize when enough is enough, and I didn’t want my son to get bit… again. 

My husband told me that I needed to relax. 

I took a deep breath. 

And then another. 

I know it’s going to be alright, but sometimes breathing deep and a gentle reminder is all I need to bring me back. 

I get stressed too. 

I’m only human. 

TGIF 

 

“I rise that I may serve”

This past weekend, I had my college reunion. It’s been 15 years since I graduated Bradford College, and I gotta tell ya… I felt like a kid again. Literally! Just walking around my old college campus gave me that old feeling of fulfillment, acceptance, and clarity. 

It was incredibly freeing! 

And to see and speak to professors and former classmates of mine was such a trip, in and of itself! But finding out that some of my former peers have become Phd’s, doctors, lawyers, therapists, environmentalists, educators, etc. was simply amazing! One of my former classmates that I graduated with, Rachel, married her college sweetheart, and together they opened up Bradford Academy in Japan. It’s an exceptional school for exceptional students that want to learn! I am so proud of them and what they’ve accomplished. They’ve really gone on and done something extraordinary! 

In case you were wondering, Jason and I met my freshman year, and his sophomore year of college. He was dating my roommate at the time, and we had a musical theater class together. The first time I ever heard him sing, it made me stop at I was doing and pay attention. His voice was, and still is, incredible. He had the male lead in almost every play/musical that he auditioned for, and I was always in awe of his talent. We became friends shortly after meeting, and here we are today; married for almost 9 years, and a beautiful child to show for it. 

I don’t know about you, but I felt that my college experience was different from others. I went to a small liberal arts college, where I studied everything from Musical Theater, to Perspective on the Arts, to English Literature, to American History. I had the most brilliant and creative professors, pulling the very best out of me day after day after day. And on days that I doubted myself, I was challenged a bit more, and was able to rise to the occasion. That was our school motto

“I rise that I may serve.”  

It means that I can rise to any occasion, and give it my all, because I am prepared. Our school motto was placed on this rock, in front of the chapel on campus. This moto still rings true for me today. Jason as well. 

 On Sunday as we said our goodbyes, we embraced our friends with long and warm hugs. I wondered when the next time I would get to walk on this campus again. But most importantly, if Willy would want to join Jason and I on our adventure. If he would even care about how much this place meant to us. If he would even want to know the history behind it. Or maybe it would just be too much for him. 

I posted this message on our Bradford Facebook page on Sunday evening. I was still basking in the glow of nostalgia, clearly. 

“Bradfolk, this is for you: as I sit here writing this post, I’m watching my little boy play and he’s singing his favorite “spooky” Halloween song. He’s six and I’m in awe of him. He seems to understand how the wold works better than most adults do. 

It’s a gift. 

I think about his future a lot. I wonder if he’ll ever go to college. I wonder if he’ll ever find a place of his own, just like Bradford College was my place. A place that’ll accept him for who he is. A place that will help him to find the person that he’s meant to become. A place where he feels completely comfortable just being himself. 

You see, my son has Autism. He lives in a world that doesn’t quite bend for him the way he wants it to at times, and some days are harder than others. But our successes these days are far more plentiful now than ever before! If he stays on track, his future will be bright. Hopefully bright enough to find his own Bradford College somewhere. 

For me and my graduating class of 2000, Bradford was OUR community. It was OUR home. It was OUR place to explore and have professors pull the very best out of us, even when we doubted ourselves. And being back this weekend brought it all back for me. For those of you that I got to speak with… thank you for being you. And for those of you that I missed, let’s not be strangers. 

Thank you Bradford College for still standing strong, and you’ll always hold a special place in my heart. ❤️”

I still consider myself extremely lucky to have had a liberal arts education, and even luckier to have had my creativity challenged for four years. But sadly, Bradford College closed it’s doors as a liberal arts college in 2000. I was the last graduating class. It stood dormant for years, until it was bought by a Baptist college. Sadly, the arts don’t seem to exist at this college, unless you consider Theology 1 and Theology 2, and Youth Ministry The same as art history, photography, dance, Shakespeare 101, acting for the camera, etc! 

 This curriculum leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, because without a creative mind, how are we supposed to be able to think for ourselves? But at least the college campus is being used as a college campus. I just hope that the students there are happy and want to learn. I hope the students appreciate the history behind the walls and bricks of this campus, because if these walls could talk… they’d have about 200 years of rich history to say.  

 Happy hump day everyone.  

 

Cheap Thrill Friday: not a cheap thrill at all!

My fabulous friend J sent me this story this morning. It made want to cry. It gave me hope. And it also made me want to hug this girl and never let her go. I think this couple is such an inspiration to us all. Enjoy. 

The Lucky One
 When I met Brad back in December, I noticed right away that he is smart, funny, charming, cute, has brown eyes that I could get lost in easily, and a smile that can light up the room. I had a feeling that he had Aspergers. The next day he messaged me on Facebook. I was thrilled. The more I talked to Brad, the more I liked him. About 10 minutes into our conversation, Brad said to me “I have to tell you something. I have Aspergers.” I simply said “I know.” He was taken back by my response and we continued to talk. Then one day he asked me if we were together. I told him “yes we are.” He looked at me with this huge smile on his face and said “I am a lucky guy. Girls like you don’t even bother with guys like me.” That just broke my heart. I tell him all the time that his Aspergers does not define him and who he is. It is a part of him, but it doesn’t run his life. I have learned how to help him cope with the moments that he has. I will hug him tight to make him feel better. I will happily scratch his head, because he likes the way his hair feels against my hand. He has his moments where he does say inappropriate things. All I do is let him know that is not appropriate to say and he smiles at me while saying “Thanks babe.” My absolute favorite part about him is when he wakes up every morning and texts me “Good morning beautiful.” That makes me smile because he truly means what he says to me. He is so sweet. He is an amazing person. I just can’t express how much Brad means to me. One day I plan to marry him. He won me over faster than anyone has. He has broken down my walls and let me in to his. We truly are best friends and soul mates. He is not the lucky one, I am.

Heather

Howell MI

Being Brave Is…

  
Bravery is standing up for yourself.

It’s about trying something new, even when you don’t want to. 

Being brave is standing up to a longtime fear. 

It’s about being true to yourself. 

Bravery is always with you, even when you feel all alone. 

It’s about sticking your neck out there for someone else. 

Bravery is admitting things that you don’t always want to admit. 

Bravery is taking a chance on someone or something. 

Bravery is admitting when you’re wrong. Sometimes. 

It’s paying it forward. 

It’s about taking each and everyday as it comes.  

Bravery is not judging others. 

And last but not least…

Bravery is putting yourself out there for everyone to see. It’s letting others know that you’re only human and not superhuman. It’s about putting on a brave face instead of your best fake smile, and knowing when to say “when.”

Be brave my friends and have a great day. 

… ask and you shall receive.

  Yesterday, as a family, we took our boy apple picking. It’s something that my husband and I both love doing, and we always try to make a fun filled day out of it for our son. Willy has already been apple picking twice this year so far (he went on a field trip with school and with his social group.) So I guess by the time Willy went with us, apple picking was just apple picking to him… and nothing else. 

The excitement was gone. 

All he cared about was playing on the playground. I couldn’t even get him excited about the tractor ride (which he usually loves!)

I tried to take a picture of the three of us on the tractor, but Willy wouldn’t have it. He kept yelling “no” and covering his face. So when he wasn’t looking, I snapped the picture above. He looks tired in this picture, doesn’t he? He was staring off into space and humming a song to himself. He refused to sit next to me while we were on the tractor. He insisted and sitting on the bench in the middle of the wagon, by himself… and that stung just a little. 

When we got to the orchard, we gathered around a small tent to listen to one of the farmers explain us, which apples were where. Surprisingly, Willy stood there and held my hand for several minutes while the man explained other things to us. To be perfectly honest… I wasn’t listening. I was far too focused on my sons frame of mind; just hoping and praying that he would keep it together and not fall to pieces in front of a large crowd. 

He did great, and when the shpeel was over, we walked over to the row of apple trees that we liked the best and started picking. 

I tried to get Willy to pick an apple off of a tree that looked good to him. He picked a few at first, and then refused to pick anymore.  

 He kept asking to go back on the tractor so he could play on the playground. I kept trying to persuade him to pick more apples with us, but he was starting to get angry. He started stomping his feet, and the angry sound that he makes right before he’s ready to fall apart made an appearance. So I gave in and we got in line for the tractor. Jason wanted to pick more apples, so he said that he would catch the next tractor and meet us on the playground. Good idea. 

Willy waited patiently with me for the tractor to arrive. He was still humming the same tune, but he seemed to be visibly relaxed. When we sat down in our seats he refused to sit with me again. What ever. I was over it already. But when Willy saw the playground in the distance, he kept asking for the tractor to stop, but it couldn’t stop until we reached our destination. 

He was starting to get anxious again. He was starting to unravel on me. Again. 

When we finally made it to the playground I was afraid that I was going to lose him! I’ve never seen so many children and parents on one playground at the same time. There were lines of children everywhere just to climb up the ladder for the slide. Willy did a nice job waiting his turn and he had fun, but refused to leave that particular area and play on other parts of the playground. He was feeling comfortable with his destination choice, but I was starting to unravel at this point. Between the crowds and the noise, I was afraid that Willy would get “handsey” with another child, and then I would have to deal with the parents, and I was in no mood for that. This day of fun was turning out to be not so fun. 

I don’t remember apple picking ever being this frustrating for us. I remember it being fun and exciting! I remember loving the cool crisp air, the smell of apples, the smell of hay on the farm in the distance, the site of the leaves starting to turn on the trees, and the sounds of happy families all around me. 
This was not the case yesterday. 

Yes the air was cool and crisp, and yes the smell of apples and hay in the distance made everything worthwhile. And yes the leaves on the trees changing is absolutely beautiful to behold, but the sounds of happy families around me were sparse. It was like we all felt that just because October is here, apple picking is something that you have to do. Not something that you want to do. And I’m sure that had something to do with Willy’s sour mood. 

As I tucked Willy into bed last night, and I asked him if he had a good day. He just echoed my words “good day” in a sad and monotone sounding voice. So I rephrase my question. I asked him if he enjoyed going apple picking with mom and dad. He said “no.” I was a little surprised and taken back to hear that, so I prodded a little further. I asked him if he liked riding the tractor. He said “yes.” I asked him if he liked playing on the playground. He said “yes.” So then I finally asked him if he like picking apples off of the tree… and he said “no.” That’s why he was so moody while we are in the orchard! And that’s what set his mood up for the rest of the day. 

He was crabby for the rest of the afternoon, and I couldn’t figure out why. All I had to do was ask him, but then again, this is new for us. For years Willy would not answer about 85% of the questions we asked him. He would only repeat back what we said to him. Now, he can answer open ended questions, and make inferences at the same time. This is huge for us!!!!!!!! I never even considered asking Willy what he wanted to do yesterday. I just assumed that he would want to go apple picking, because Jason and I wanted to go apple picking. So as I was about to kiss  him good night, I asked him what he wanted to do that day, and he said “go see penguins.” He wanted to go to the aquarium! 

(sigh) The aquarium sounds pretty nice right now. 

Sometimes I get it… and sometimes I don’t. And lately my son is becoming more and more independent with his own wants and needs and it never occurs to me to just ask him! I need to stop assuming that I know what he wants! Because to be honest, a day at the aquarium sounds pretty amazing to me and I think we all would’ve been a little happier with that decision. I know Willy would’ve. And I need to stop looking at him like he’s just a little boy, whose mom knows what’s best for him. He’s becoming a big boy who’s starting to understand the world around him. And I need to be more respectful of his wants and needs. And you know what? Lesson learned for me. 

Willy 1. Mom 0.